Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
