I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Boobs speak an international language.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Randomize