k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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