Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
