hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
