Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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