I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
