no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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