Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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