so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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