wanna go halves on a baby?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
