Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
