She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
