I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
COCAINE IS GR8
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