If i come over, it means nothing
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
