I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
