I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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