For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
