Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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