This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
