cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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