sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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