so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
