I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
