You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
