Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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