I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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