The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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