Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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