this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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