Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Let's get the cat blown out
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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