sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
