First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
