ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
