Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize