I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize