You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
