Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
