So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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