Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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