I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
