For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize