Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
