woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
