I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
