It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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