people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
