Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
