i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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