the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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