Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
