chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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