Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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