Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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