brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
