Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
