i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
