why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
