you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
