He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
is it fun? or sober?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
