yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
