using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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