Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
