you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
