I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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