for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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