; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im drinking this country out of the recession.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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