Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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