My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
