Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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